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Could you please explain to me the prayers said to a bride and groom during their wedding ceremony? The prayers said to a groom on how he should behave towards his wife are absolutely beautiful and are full of love and care; while it seems that the prayers said to a bride on how she should behave in a marriage seem quite demeaning. They demand obedience to the groom repeatedly and little else.

We both grew up Coptic and would never dream of getting married in any other church, but it hurts me to think of standing in front of God and praying over something that I vehemently am against. After all, my groom is my equal in all things. He is not perfect for me to obey him nor is he my parent for him to have residing power over my actions.

Both the commands to the bridegroom and to the bride in the Crowning Ceremony are beautiful. There is nothing demeaning in the instructions to the bride. Her commands include to honor and respect her husband. The command states how that should be demonstrated: Do not act against his opinion and increase in obedience to him. This does not mean to not have an opinion of your own, but rather do not oppose him by your actions. You must work together in cohesiveness. You must be supportive of him. Obedience is a positive trait in marriage because it springs out of love, honor, and respect. The home is a church and the husband's role is as the lay priest of the home. "But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light" (1 Peter 2:9). As parents are appointed to care for their family, so the new home being established and headed by the groom is instructed to care for his household. There is no country or nation or religious organization or corporation that has two leaders at the top. There is one president, one pope, one king, one prime minister, one chief executive officer. The home also needs structure. This structure is provided in the commands given to the bridegroom and bride. The bridegroom is instructed: "Excel in doing all (not some, not a few, but ALL) that is good for her. Have compassion on her and hasten (not just when it is convenient) to do that which will gladden her heart." When you are treated with such love and esteem, obedience (honor and respect) toward him by not acting in opposition to him is not demeaning at all. The wife's position is already highly esteemed especially if the groom understands the command given to him in the Crowning Ceremony. Actually, he is instructed first before the command is given to the bride. Equality in marriage is spiritual, where each one prefers the other over of his or her rights, out of love, honor, and respect. This is a sacrament, a Holy Mystery, not a social or political statement or a feminist movement. Premarital counseling is encouraged for all engaged couples.

In addition, please read: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/family-q-and-a/relationships-and-marriage/submission-of-wives-to-husbands