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If someone is considering marrying a woman who revealed that she has a relative that she alleges raped her a long time ago, and never showed remorse, what steps of wisdom should one take? Should someone attend family gatherings with her, where he is present, have dinner with him, and pretend like nothing happened?

Victims and survivors should always be encouraged and supported to come forth, but at their will and in their own time, but knowing that each state has its own laws regarding the statute of limitations. You can agree together to not attend any function where this relative is present and encourage her to alert her family about him with as much information as she is willing to reveal, to circumvent any potential of this happening to other women, youth, or children in the family or anywhere. Perhaps, you can both ask a priest to intervene and discuss this serious matter with this relative in order to lead him to repentance. Maybe he repented and confessed about it and God has forgiven him. You will still not know the outcome. However, he will know that she knows and has revealed it, and this revelation may empower her. Putting matters into God's hands will give you peace.