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I am a young woman in my mid-twenties. In the last few years, I have been hurt by men. I was never in a "serious relationship," but I was talking to men who I thought were serious about me, for a long-term relationship, but in the end, I either never heard from them again, or found out they were already involved with someone else, or talking to multiple women, etc. I am sensitive to the point where it affects me emotionally and physically.  

My mother and I agree that I should focus on God. My father, on the other hand, whom I love dearly and with whom I am very close, has a different point of view regarding "finding the one". He constantly tells me that I have to initiate interest or the man will never show interest toward me. This subject is ongoing at home. I am tired of doing the effort. I keep praying that God helps me see men as friends before anything and to not have any expectations. I fear being hurt again and want to avoid it. I feel like I will end up alone or that something is wrong with me. Sometimes, the pressure at home makes me sad and I cry to God. I need any sort of guidance, something that will give my heart some tranquility and peace.

What should I think about all this subject? Is a woman meant to be pursued by a real man who desires to win her heart on a spiritual level? How much effort does one have to put into this? How do I know when a man is serious and not just using me? How do I know when I am ready for something genuinely serious because God sees that I am? How do I know the man sent to me is from God?

In your first paragraph, it appears that you were involved (talking) with "men" for a couple of years and later discovered that they were not interested, or they were involved with others. It seems your complaint about them applies to you as well. Thus, this is also an important lesson to you. When you take interest in someone, focus just on that person, until you decide if this relationship can lead to marriage. It is not right to use a method of gathering.

A man may take interest in a woman but not let her know. Some men fear rejection even if they are interested, but do not pursue. If a good man takes interest in you, reciprocate interest in him. If you both share spiritual interests, this will be evident in your conversations. There is no need to make a lot of effort because if you express interest in each other simply by conversation, a level of comfort, respect, and admiration is likely to develop.

When someone is on the rebound from a broken relationship, her or she will bring up that person's name often. If you find yourself in that situation, it is best to end this relationship before it develops because he is probably just not over his previous relationship. Some time should also elapse between relationships, at least six months to one year, and the person should clearly be over that other person from the previous relationship.

When the right person comes, you will know that you are ready, and this is the right person for you because God will give you a special peace in heart with your decision to assure you that he is from Him.