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Q&A Home > M > Marriage Is it okay for a deacon to marry a non-virgin girl? Is it part of our culture or our belief (faith), because there is a fine line between culture and belief? Either the groom or bride may marry someone that is not a virgin even if the groom is a deacon. This loss of one's virginity often bears regret and remorse for the spiritual person. This sin is obviously due to having pre-marital sex. God is willing to forgive all our sins and blot them out completely when we repent sincerely and confess them. Repentance is the key to overcoming any sin. Thus, we should never underestimate the power of the great Mystery of Confession.
As for our culture, which includes other religions as well, it is very important to differentiate between the social and ethnic culture and the Orthodox Christian culture. Most of the Middle Eastern ethnic cultures are very rigid about the expectations regarding the woman's virginity. The loss of her virginity before marriage has caused horrific situations, even if the husband just suspects that she was not a virgin prior to marriage.
As Christians, we should view everyone from the lens of love. People make mistakes, but because God is very aware of our shortcomings and predisposition to sin, He gave us sacraments to help us obtain forgiveness and restore us no matter how repulsive the sin. If any person repents, whether man or woman, their life is restored, and the sins confessed are permanently removed. This is our belief. Nonetheless, each person needs to make an honest decision on whether the past of a potential spouse will interfere in their love and respect for the other, which will negatively impact their marriage.
"Blessed is repentance that transforms the adulterers to virgins" John Saba (439-532 AD).
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