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I have recently met a Coptic woman who is amazing. She is just a spiritual as I am, and I have felt closer to God since she has come into my life. I have also been studying the Coptic faith and visited the church. It feels like home to me, and in my heart the place, I should be. I have begun classes after my study in order to join the church (not just because of wanting to spend my life with this woman) but because I agree with the beliefs and the feeling of God placing me here at this time. We have been talking marriage as we believe our Lord has brought us together especially how we met and came across one another and the feeling of home and peace when we are together and want to start a life in God as one with the Church behind us. Will we be allowed to marry? What might I need to do so? I do understand that in my Protestant faith marriage was not one of the sacraments. I am divorced and have children. Annulments are never needed for Protestants. They abide by the laws of the land in terms of court divorce. I am trying to understand how that relates or is even recognized by the Coptic Church in which I would need some type of annulment. Any advice on how to warm her family up to the idea as I am not of Egyptian decent and the prior marriage.  

We are really struggling right now. The parents at this time due to the divorce and children, will not look passed it to get to know me to see godly attributes. They are really putting a lot of pressure on her and our relationship to be ended. Is there any way that you can think of that will warm her father to even meeting me? Getting a chance to get to know me and to see if my heart and everything about me belongs to our Heavenly Father? I understand his protective nature of his daughter as I would feel the same. However, I do believe there are times in life where you find your place with God, when He takes over after you give your life to Him fully, and you are changed. My marriage ended due to infidelity, and other contributing factors not on my end. However, I realize their outlook in my choice, etc. How do I get them to know me? I believe judging a book by its cover or mistakes in years past does not make the person you are when your life is given unconditional to our heavenly Father. There is new life.

We are not looking to speed up our relationship per say because I believe all things and timing will come as God wills it. We will take the time God deems necessary for the next step. I really am just looking for them to agree to meet me and give themselves an opportunity to get to know who I am. Do you have any advice on how, I may be able to approach? Also, not sure if it s customary for me to approach her father or would I have her set that up.  As far as the church is concerned, I have been through the reading and am awaiting the classes. She is not really involved in that with me other than giving me the contact.  

It is wonderful to hear that your faith in the Coptic Orthodox Church is growing. Your salvation is always a priority. To remarry, you will need to present the Church with whatever legal documents you have, both the civil dissolvement of your previous marriage, and any other documents that are part of the constitution of your previous religious order that confirms that the marriage was dissolved. Once these are confirmed by the Church, you will be given permission to marry as if it is the first marriage.

Copts are typically very loving and protective of their children, regardless of their age. There is rarely an attitude of disconnecting parental roles once children reach the age eighteen years or even beyond. Marriage is taken very seriously. Dating for the sake of dating is unacceptable. Dating is usually for the purpose of assessing if this is the right person with whom to continue into a serious relationship that could result in marriage. Thus, the spiritual component is very important as it is the driving force that keeps a couple committed to marriage and growing together in spiritual maturity. Her parents will be naturally guarded about your family background, as well as the reasons that your first marriage ended. This not merely out of curiosity, but to ensure that there is not a pattern of behaviors and beliefs that contradict with theirs. Therefore, if her parents see godly attributes in you, they will be warm and be accepting toward you.

It is important that you understand and appreciate the parents' perspective. It is a lot for them to accept. You must also consider your children's needs. It is important that not only you are accepted warmly into this family, but the children also. The process of blending families, not only culturally but especially with children from previous marriages, requires time and deep understanding and much selfless sacrifices.

Once you have been in the catechism classes at the church for a few months and have become better acquainted with the priest who will likely become your spiritual guide or father confessor, you should ask him to intervene. The spiritual father in one's life has a very important role to guide you in spiritual growth and discipleship. Be sincere and transparent with him. Most probably he knows the young lady and her family well or is at least familiar with them and their cultural expectations. Therefore, he can be a gentle mediator between you and them. This may take some time. Whatever is from God is always good and far better than what we choose for ourselves. Pray for God's will.